


Happy

by SugarSpiceSatan



Category: Death Note
Genre: Certainly not fucking slow burn, Gay shit you guys, I hate myself, M/M, i hate that shit with a BURNing passion, im not funny im sorry, the title is a lie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-27 08:45:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8395102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugarSpiceSatan/pseuds/SugarSpiceSatan
Summary: What would L Lawliet die for?





	1. Chapter 1

It was a split second decision that would change many things forever. L and Light had finally tracked down the criminal they had been chasing for a few months now.

She was seething in the distance, twirling around in her own misery. She couldn't believe she'd been caught. She was the head of an excruciatingly planned set of murders, set to avenge children lost to child abusers. However, one of her cronies had fucked up and left a single hair in the home of the last victim. It was found buried in dust, deep in a vent.

But none of that mattered once the bullet struck Light's chest.

Light fell to the concrete of the parking garage with an unsavory thud. L's eyes lit up in terror. The criminal was already on her way, toting the gun in question. Most of backup ran after her without a second thought.

L, on the other hand, was screaming. Actually screaming. Light was almost certain he was watching L express the most human emotion yet on his death bed.

L normally would have gone off with backup. Get the satisfaction of handcuffing the criminal, catching them once and for all. But he couldn't just leave Light, the one person who made him feel things strong enough to express. Actual human things. It was disgusting and unacceptable according to the way he was raised, but he couldn't just leave Light there, a time-ticking corpse.

L grabbed Light's wrist. Light's breathing was quick and forced. "I-I'm dying, aren't I?" His voice was strained, coughs erupting from his chest. No. Light cold not be dying. Not now. "I know I am, L. There's no point in lying to me." L was only lying to himself. 

L sat there, looking like a cat who had just missed a car. L picked up Light ever so gently, laying his head across his lap. Blood seeped through his pants, turned his almost pure white skin crimson. The light was fading from Light's eyes. The Light was fading from L's life. "Watori! Call an ambulance!"

The members of backup who stayed were now frantically rushing to Light's aid. Light was still not so neatly positioned in L's lap, leaking red onto whatever he touched. An ambulance was on it's way now, it was just time to wait.

Light looked more and more sickly by the second. His lips were growing pale, contrasted by the blood L had accidentally gotten on him as he grabbed onto him. After all this time, waiting for a human connection, he finally got it. And now, it could all be taken away so fast by a petty bullet. Backup was going to pull him off, but Watari dismissed them. Light just lay there limply, listening to L scream.

"I-it'll be okay." He coughed out, choked by his own pain. It had only been a moment since the ambulance was called, but L felt as if time stood still. 

Light used his little strength to reach up and touch L's face. "You'll be okay." Light smiled weakly. "Come here." He muttered. L obeyed, leaning closer to Light's blood smeared face. Light gently grabbed L's jawline, pulling it forward. No. Light could not be doing this now. Light closed the gap between them in the softest, weakest way possible. It was hardly a kiss, so weak and futile. L's mind and heart were racing, kicking and punching his skin. Light's lips were already a bit cold. The kiss was salty and bitter, blood stained as the case they had solved.

Light let his head fall down again, too weak to manage any longer. "I'm sorry." He whispered. L was screaming louder than before, breaking into hysterics. He was sobbing, body and thoughts fragile. "I couldn't protect you." L grabbed fistfuls of his hair. "I'm a failure. I couldn't protect you, I couldn't protect the only one who matters." L looked so worn down, so hollow. He grabbed Light's hand. "The ambulance is here." He bawled. "You can live!"

Light was rushed onto a stretcher, blood staining the white fabric red. It was all a blur after that. The rest of the team watched ruefully as L was separated from the half-dead boy. L wasn't even allowed on the ambulance. It sped away, leaving L to cry on a blood stained ground. After all the years he had spent solving cases with Light, he was a failure. He couldn't even manage to save his best friend. His only friend. 

Watari told the rest of the team to leave. They did, giving L looks of sorrow as they hurried out. Watari dragged a silent L into a car, signaling the driver towards the hospital. L watched through the tinted window quietly. He observed the scenery, drowning in his own head. Could he be saved from himself? He knew that Light was probably there, being pulled down and endless hallway. Then, he would be operated on. If he managed to survive that, it would still be many hours until L would be allowed to visit him.

Horrible images of a dead Light flashed through L's head. He'd be forever blood soaked, his pale gold skin forever cold. Those eyes of his would go blank and glassy until they slowly rotted six feet under. Light would then be forced to be more skeletal than the detective himself.

Tears still streaked his snow-white face as they arrived at the hospital. Watari helped him out of the car. He felt like he'd crash onto the concrete if he lacked an aid. The doors slid open, in time with the pain coming from L's chest. He could feel the mournful looks he was getting. He looked like a small child clinging onto his father. Watari brought him to the counter. Through L's cloudy head, he heard the quiet sound of "Yagami, Light." He felt as if he was slipping into a foggy void, just beyond reality. Everyone seemed like puppets being pulled by the red strings of fate. 

"He's in an operation." Watari sighed. L's eyes lit up ever so slightly, a single star in a pitch black expanse of sky. If he made it that far, there was the possibility he'd survive that, too. The fog brightened up a little bit. The light in his eyes was starting to sink into his veins, wrapping him in some sense of security. 

He found himself in a blue, fabric chair. It was scratchy, the fabric so unpleasant it seemed perfectly fit to the moment. L's chest felt heavy, and he knew exactly who was holding the weight to it. He'd be there for hours, but he didn't want to get comfortable. He felt he deserved to be tortured. His...Light was stuck on an operating table because of something he couldn't prevent. He couldn't protect somebody who shared an indescribable connection with him. He should have thought of every possibility. Given Light some sort of protection. And so, L would let the fabric tear his skin until it was numb like he'd always been.

.

.

.

Sun broke through the blinds in individual bands, casting it's warm glow over the hospital. There was a soft, gentle hum coating Light's eardrums. Something felt pleasant and restful.

Sound, sun. That's right, he's dying. Was he seeing things, a bullet still lodged in his chest? It felt awfully vibrant. He knew that near-death experiences felt more real than any other memory, but this was so...tangible. He could almost reach out and touch it, if he could bring himself to stretch out.

He was almost positive someone was petting his hair, but his eyes were closed again and he couldn't be bothered to open them. It was so warm, and he was afraid if his eyes opened again he'd be dragged to the afterlife. His cheeks felt damp, even though he knew he wasn't crying.

He opened his eyes slowly, revealing a figure above him.

It was L and he was crying.

"L, are you okay?" He shuttered, another tear falling on his face. "You're the one who was shot, you tell me." L wiped his eyes with his sleeve. It was blood stained, he'd probably been here all night. "I think, in retrospect, you are more okay than I am." Light laughed, and it hurt him a little bit. Light reached down for L's hand, threading their fingers together. It was so warm, and it felt so right. Being here, with L leaning over him in the most gentle of ways felt so right.

Being alive felt so right.

They both sat there for a moment, gazing into each others eyes with new appreciation. L's Light was alive, after an entire night of despair and terror. L was the one to break the silence. "Before you were put under, do you remember what you did?" L's voice was filled with an unfamiliar caution. "I kissed you, I think. I'm not really sure what happened and what didn't." Light sighed. "It was my first kiss." L confirmed Light's suspicions, eyes averted. "Well, not too sweet for your taste, huh?" Light was giggling, actually giggling, and L was smiling. Both were new. 

Only one good thing came from that endless night. L spent forever thinking and rethinking what he'd do if Light ever woke up. He knew what he wanted now. Their position seemed so natural. It felt like falling asleep in a hot bath.

"I think I'd like a second one." Lights eyes twinkled when L said that. L brushed a strand of caramel hair out of Light's eyes, letting the emotions twirling inside Light come to a halt. Light's mind stopped stirring. L smiled a brilliant smile once again, cupping Light's face in his freshly-warmed hands. Light closed his eyes, feeling that it was necessary to fully enjoy the sensation. L made the final jump, gently touching his lips to Light's.

This was certainly sweeter. It was raw, no longer tainted by blood or screams or tears. Light's lips tasted like honey and hazelnuts, only interrupted by the bit of plasticy hospital taste. The kiss was like a song they'd composed. It was finally coming together, floating off the keys of a piano. The players would share a knowing glance at each other as it hummed so beautifully. The crowd would go wild, unlike their minds, a rarity, silent and at peace.

The gesture was over too quickly, but it felt best to leave it there. Leave it a quiet, blissful moment in their personal history book. "I'm going to say it before I lose the chance again; I love you."

It didn't need to be said who spoke in the textbook, because they were both thinking it anyway.

.

.

.

That took a lot out of me...

The L pulle dout a magic dildo made of candy and waved it and Light lit up his eyes and was all better the end

-SiblingSatan


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Madeline makes characters ooc and regrets it months later as she transfers her work to ao3

Healing. It's funny how the very thing that's supposed to make you feel better takes so much out of you. As if the chunks of Light's flesh weren't enough of a sacrifice.

He carefully gripped the stair's railing, trying not to lose balance. "Careful, Light!" His father yelped from the bottom of the staircase. Light was taking it step by step, day by day. His chest still felt as if it was wrapped in a cloth of needles.

Nobody had even mentioned L's first kiss, as blood stained and strung out as it was. They didn't know about the second. Or the following two.

Light still felt skittish about it all. Ryuzaki hadn't even made it clear what their relationship was. Did he just want to stay best friends? Neither of them were good with relationships. L didn't even quite know what one was, and Light had never had interest in one before.

Light tripped over a single step. "Light!" Chief Yagami hissed, running to his aid. "I'm okay Dad, I'm not going to die after a small misstep." Light had to stop himself from laughing. Soichiro looked at the ground, his voice rueful. "I know, it's just after..." His voice trailed off in distress, obviously haunted by some sort of memory. Light grabbed his father by the shoulders. "It's never going to happen again." Light said sternly. He knew he couldn't make such improbable promises, but he had to try. He owed Soichiro that much.

Light made it down the stairwell with his father's help, turning the corner in a cautious manner. He was greeted by a cat-like face, glowing in contrast to the locks of ebony that dangled across it. "Hello, Ryuzaki." Soichiro nodded curtly. "Hello, Chief Yagami." L's voice was deep and calming. Light could fall asleep to that lullaby on the spot.

Light let his gaze trail down L's body. As remarkable as it was, there was something more notable about it today. The fact that he was clad entirely in black. "What's with your dark attire, Ryuzaki?" Light laughed. "Hm? Oh, these. Watari picked them out, I was in need of something less visibly red." He sighed. Light's flesh stung at the mention of his injury. It seemed more potent when it spiraled out of L's lips. Lips Light now knew the taste of.

"Light-kun, should you really be upright?" L let out genuine concern, which only made Light feel worse. "I need to adjust to being on my feet. I've already taken enough time off as it is." Light sounded disappointed in himself. "We're not even on a case currently, Light. You need to take care of yourself." L reasoned. Light looked to the floor. 

Soon it was time for everyone to go home, Soichiro saying many "Take care"s before exiting. Light had to be getting to his apartment as well.

"Well, I best be heading home." Light's voice echoed off the walls of L's lonely headquarters. He began to gather his things, a messenger bag and a bag of apples he had bought on the way there. Light was ready to head out the door when he felt something pulling on the tail of his shirt. "Your extended company would be greatly appreciated, if you don't mind staying for a while longer..." L's voice was timid. He looked lost in his own sea, drowning in the space behind his eyes. That look was awfully familiar.

"Sure." Light smiled one of those gentle smiles that told L everything would be okay. L felt dizzy again and he didn't fully understand why. Light grabbed L's hand, and now L was dizzier than before. Light began to walk to the kitchen. "I'll make us some tea." His voice was gentle. To L, it was a beautiful sound. Each crackle and inflection spun a patchwork lattice around L's head.

L still wasn't sure how to feel about all of this. He had to be cautious when it came to his own emotions.

Light released L's hand, leaving an empty void where the affection once stood. He filled a kettle with water, placing it on the burner with a heavy clunk. L shuffled through the kitchen to the small table that resided in it, hands stuffed in newly black pockets. He retracted them, now slightly sticky. They already had crumbs in them, Light mused. 

As the water boiled in the metal appliance, the water behind L's eyes was dragging him offshore. It pulled his already weak body down, little fish whispering horrible things and biting at his flesh. "You'll lose him. You don't deserve him." The fish laughed. L noted that the were red and black.

A shark became his company, threatening to bite off his legs. It's eyes glowed a similar black to his own. It teased him, chomping just an inch from his feet It reminded him danger was always a second away. He had to learn to watch the shark more carefully.

Light tapped at the stove top, waiting for the water to boil. He watched L intently as he sat in a chair. His eyes looked vacant and disturbed. Light wanted to reach out for him, embrace him with all his might. Tell him how beautiful his existence was, how much he deserved. Shake him out of his endless desert.

L looked down at his body, his clothes still white and blood stained. A caramel siren swam beneath him, tangling his legs in thick chain. Seagulls swarmed up ahead, or maybe they were vultures. They showered him in candy wrappers. It made it hard to see, hard to swim. The fish backed him into a brick of coral, which ripped his tender flesh. Watch your back, Lawliet. You never know who might hurt you.

Was the siren beneath him speaking? Her voice sounded awful familiar. "L, the tea is ready." He recognized the lattice of sounds and syllables. Light was pulling from the abyss. The real world required him. No more time for silly things like fear.

"Would you like me to bring you a mug?" Light's voice was airy and caring and it stung L to his core. People weren't supposed to bring L tea, or tell him they loved him, or hold his hand on the way to the kitchen. He was a creature, some kind of monster who would eat himself alive. He lived in a cottage in his head, which was sheltered from any messy things, like emotions. He worked in an extremely dangerous line of work, yet he was so sheltered. He needed to be chained up in the basement of that cottage, kept prisoner before his mouth started to move with his heart.

"Yes, thank you." L's voice was unnaturally quiet. His eyes were darker than usual, as impossible as that sounds. Light set a red mug of lemon meyer tea in front of him. "What's bothering you, Ryuzaki?" Light's eyes gleamed with concern. L noted that he didn't ask if something was bothering him, he just asked what right away. He didn't deserve somebody who was so perceptive. Could he even survive with someone like that around? His entire life was built on the somewhat stable facade that he didn't feel. That's what made him so good at what he did. Fish swam circles through L's mug.

"I'm scared." L muttered. "Of everything. Of myself." He sighed a stretched out breath. Light's eyes glinted, as if he wanted to string L's fear on a line. "Ryuzaki, you have no need to be afraid. You are one of the bravest people I've ever met. You constantly put your life out on the line for me, and everyone. It's okay to be afraid, but you don't have to be. You can fight off your demons with an iron fist." Light apparently didn't know him, the most terrified man alive, very well. That's when Light said the thing that shattered his shackles, broke him free from the cottage basement once more. "I believe in you."

And before he knew it, their lips met again. For the fifth time, Lawliet and Light were in their frozen bead of time, dripping from the faucet at a regrettably slow pace. Once the bead of water fell from the faucet's grate, it could never be taken back. No matter how much he wishes he could, L could not turn back time.

This was the rawest kiss yet. No blood, no hospital taste, no hint of pretend happiness, no excess sugar. Just Light and Ryuzaki, spools of thread coming unwound into one another's touch.

It was over as quick as it came to be, leaving the piles of thread on the ground with each other.

The fish in L's sea went rabid. They rushed him back to the shore, hoping to encourage him towards the cottage. The neat cottage, where feelings didn't exist and L played by the book. How boring life could be in there.

That's when L realized: he belonged to Light now. He was in the deep end of Light's swimming pool, heated water lapping at him, complementing the lack of angry seagulls. He couldn't go back to the cottage, too reeled into whatever this was. Maybe, possibly, probably, he was in love.

And so he kissed him again.

.

.

.

Light watched L stuff another forkful of cheesecake into his mouth, a practiced movement. He had tried to convince Light to have a bite as well, but it didn't work. "Maybe if you buy a dark chocolate cheesecake, then I'll try it." Light chuckled. L was well aware of his position towards sweets. Just Light's presence in the room was breaking up the schools of fish threatening to drown Lawliet.

Light's name was rather fitting for what he was to L. He made his sea shimmer with brilliance once more. He was almost certain he had to demolish the cottage on the beach, build a nice home that could cater to his feelings.

Somehow, L had ended up with his head resting in Light's lap, Light reading a book. Their hands were neatly folded together. L was still slightly disgusted with himself, a creature allowing himself such sweet unnecessary things. However, he was letting it happen anyway. Light reminded him of cotton candy. It was spun out of control so many times, yet managed to compact itself into a perfected, uniform shape. However, Light wouldn't melt at the touch of a tongue. He was crafted out of something tougher than candy floss.

L felt like a little kid's favorite punching bag oddly placed in a barbie box by mistake. It felt so unnatural. But it felt so right.

Now Light was humming the tune to something, and L would probably fall asleep if he wasn't an insomniac. Light placed the hardback on the coffee table with a satisfying thud. The humming continued, causing L to shut his eyes. Light began to run his fingers through soot colored hair. If L was a cat, he'd be purring like a thunderstorm. L's sea was at peace, shimmering with calm. He simply floated on a cotton candy raft.

Light continued to rake his scalp lightly, and L felt heavy. He hadn't slept in at least thirty-two hours, and that tends to make a person sleepy. "Goodnight, L." Light laughed like a child. L simply grumbled in response. He reached up and clutched onto the front of Light's shirt, but the his hand slipped and he slipped into slumber.

Light watched him nap, still petting his hair. It was no use, as L was already asleep, but it was soothing him in some strange way. L sleeping was a rare sight, and one that Light could get used to. He looked like a small child, desperately hanging on the ends of a lullaby. His face was soft and blank, eyelashes curling around his tired eyes. The sharp marks under his eyes looked gentler. Light was tired now, too. His mind was still spinning however, trying to figure out who he was to Ryuzaki. He didn't even know the man's real name.

He decided to settle upon the simple, obvious answer. L was his, and he was L's, in whatever way they wanted to be.

.

.

.

The first time L ever met Light, they were sitting across from each other at a restaurant. One perfectly cross legged, the other hunched over and sore.

Chief Yagami had decided his coworkers had to meet his family. They weren't allowed to speak of their cases of course, but he wanted to introduce them to his pride and joy. Sayu was dressed up impeccably, looking much smaller than she did now. Light looked eerily similar to his current self.

Light couldn't be bothered to listen to anything his father was saying. He was too busy staring at the strange man across the table to process Soichiro's words. He was fixated. The man was so...bizarre. He was like a painting in a haunted house, white contrasting too intensely with black. His eyes were heavily sharpened by the severe bags forming under them. It was as if they were placed there by some higher power.

Every detail was so wrong, yet they added up to something that looked like it was painstakingly crafted. Every feature complemented the next.

There was an unwanted visitor swimming in his pool.

He was turning the water red, boiling it off the surface. It wasn't okay. It wasn't okay at all. Light was growing irritated just because he was there. He took up too much space at the table when acting that odd. Had he ever acted normal in his life? He just sat there, stabbing his fork into a steak as if it were nothing. What Light would give to be that steak, getting the axe.

Soichiro introduced each of his coworkers, but nothing was new or special until a certain name was called. "And this is...Ryuzaki. He's a...special caseworker. The police serve him." Soichiro explained.

Ryuzaki. The hesitation in his father's tone let him know it was a false.

What made Ryuzaki so special he required a code name? He must be somebody high-up. A detective of sorts. How could somebody so improper get so high-up? Light had to work his ass off to get to a successful point, act perfect constantly. Ryuzaki just sat there stabbing his steak, acting like an unpleasant three year old. It made him extremely angry. How could somebody so wrong be up there, at the head of a table, acting as a puppet master for the police?

Light was boiling his own pool now.

Despite his aggression, he wanted to talk to him. Alone. Dig around that hopefully genius brain of his. It was the only possible way for someone like him to be in such a respected position.

Ryuzaki lifted his fork, taking a chunk out of the dessert that had just arrived. It was disgusting. Skipping dinner, only to head straight for dessert was a very improper thing to do. Ryuzaki was the very definition of improper, and something about it made Light want to force him to sit up straight and eat his entree.

Light excused himself to the restroom, needing a break of that improper detective. He walked furiously down the hall and out the door. He just needed some air to clear his head; to refill his pool.

A deep, unsavory voice clouded his thoughts. "Are you feeling okay, Yagami-kun?" He looked over his shoulder to see that god awful man. Of course. He was doing this on purpose.

Keep your cool, Light.

"I just felt a bit nauseous, that's all." He sounded perfectly balanced. "You're probably wondering what I do. The truth is that the police aid me in cases around the world. I am the detective known as L." L. What an improper name for an improper man.

Even if he wanted to stab the man with a fork, he absolutely had to hear about the cases he'd worked. And soon, he would. And even later, he'd become apart of the gunfire storybook, too.

.

.

.

Light awoke on the couch. He found himself completely intertwined with L. L's arms were wrapped around his waist, head placed on his heart. It was also incidentally right by his forming scar, but luckily L wasn't very heavy. One of Light's arms was underneath L, and he could feel L's shallow breaths hitting his shirt. He felt as if he were sunbathing, but knew it was impossible based on the pale color of L's flesh. This was the most solid he'd ever seen the man sleep. He looked at peace, completely soothed. L had never looked so easy going. It was a shame he was asleep, or Light would be teasing him about it.

Light felt proud that he made L feel so safe. It seemed an impossible task, even for somebody he thought was outstandingly brave. Light was feeling lucky to be alive, and lucky to be by L's side. It seemed almost impossible that things were going so well. He almost felt it was him seeing the light of death, ready to wrap him in it's charcoaled angel wings.

He vowed to keep L frozen in this moment forever. He was hoping for a future of continuous ease, but he knew he wouldn't get it.

It was fascinating, really. L had been freed from his handcuffs for the moment, and it was an odd sight indeed. He seemed to be bulldozing the cottage he had built on the shore.

Unfortunately for the both of them, that cottage was far from being destroyed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAA 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Madeline writes a short chapter

The tide had two options. It could be forgiving, washing your mistakes off your body. Or it could tear you to shreds, leaving you washed up on the sand just begging to die.

Or, there was always the chance you were the lucky third strike. The tides would decide to stretch you out, left to impersonate an elastic doll. Your limbs would be torn from each end of the sea, chains impossible to break. Lawliet was the third captive. He was doomed to be a rubber band, injuring the very one who held him between their fingers. 

He would dwell in his mind all day, but Light was waiting for him in the other room and he could no longer afford it.

Light had slept there last night, which was a first. Strangely enough, it was also a first for L, who never solidly slept a night in his tower of logic. However, when Light resided there as well, it didn't seem to be an issue. Light was like an eye mask, covering his tired orbs. He protected him from the brightness, letting him slip into the void no matter the time.

Light stood in front of the sink, carefully washing the used mugs from the night before. One of them had a chip in the base, Light noted, which was shaped like a perfect crescent. It looked almost like the imprint from a thumb-nail.

Could it be that L was so stressed out he had ruined the ceramic himself? He was wound like the coils on a motor, high strung and ready to go.

No, no. That couldn't be it. L was stronger than he looked, but he wasn't strong enough to do that. His rib cage pulled out from under his practically translucent skin. His stomach was a pit, going concave before it even had the chance to be filled. Had they underfed him at the orphanage? Light's hands were growing weak grasping the mug. He thought of L collapsing from mal nourishment, L as a scared, neglected child.

That unwanted visitor was still in his pool after all those years, and now, he was drowning. Light broke the surface tension, scooping up the lost and scared detective. He hoped to hold him like that for real some day.

Light dropped the mug as L walked in the room. L's shoulders just barely shook, trained to be unresponsive. It didn't shatter, but caused a loud crash all around it. The other mug in the sink had tipped over, contents splattering onto stainless steel. "Are you feeling okay, Light-kun?" L brought a thumb up to his lip.

Light walked over to him, his own finger trembling. "You need to start taking better care of yourself, L." His voice was barely above a whisper, not quite believing he let himself say it. L's eye widened.

Oh no, he was doing that thing again. Caring about L's well-being. It was forbidden.

Light put his hands on L's shoulders. His eye were warm and supportive, but L looked as uncomfortable as ever. He stayed silent, thumb pressed against his lip. It was sticky, bits of last night's cheesecake stuck at the corners.

L's mouth parted as if he were going to say something, but he was cut off when he felt Light's warm embrace.

"I worry about you." And kings weren't supposed to worry about the vermin who scuttled in the vents of their castle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why are u still here son


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get gayer

Light sat idly at his desk. He sighed, propping his chin up with a crumpled fist. "Has anyone called?" An annoyed Matsuda grumbled. "No." L had his usual brick-wall-you-can't-break-down tone.

Light settled back in his desk. "You're welcome to leave, if you must, Matsuda." Light could tell L was angry, even if L never showed any kind of reaction. Matsuda had been asking him that question doggedly all day. 

Light was beginning to wonder why he'd even come back to work in the first place. L had just finished a case, all on his own, and the tap had run dry. His forming scar still stung, but he was determined to come help L. 

L continued to stare at the wall, half-heartedly shoving a strawberry into his mouth. He slid the bowl a bit past him, disinterested. Light glanced his way, noticing his blank stare and pushed-aside fruit. The boredom must be driving him insane.

It stayed like that for a few more hours, but eventually, it was time leave. Matsuda packed his things, so did Light's father and the others. Light began to pack, but dropped his bag once the others hit the thresh hold. It hit the fabric chair with a thump. He walked towards L's chair, bowl of red berries still set aside. "Why didn't you finish them?" Light bit his lip. L didn't respond.

"Why didn't you finish your strawberries?" Light persisted. L glanced his way. Light sat in the chair next him. "Are you feeling okay, Ryuzaki?" His shoulders settled down, looking disappointed. "I'm quite alright, Light-kun." L sighed.

"In all the years I've known you, you've never set aside strawberries. What's going on?" Light squinted. "My stomach isn't feeling so well, that is all it is." L drawled in his usual tone. "Do you want me to walk you to your room? You might feel better if you lie down. I could also get you some-" Light was cut off. "I'll be fine, Light." L stood, black shirt settling back onto his waist in the proper way. He set his heels down, prepared to walk away, when Light grabbed his wrist. "This is about the lack of cases, isn't it?" Light whispered, as if it were a secret he wasn't meant to tell anyone. He watched L's eyes, waiting for a wave to crash behind them. It never did.

There was a drought in L's head. It was uncomfortable, like all of his intelligence being locked behind silver doors. He couldn't use any of it. He needed a puzzle to solve, something to challenge him.

There was one puzzle he could focus on, but he didn't want to, at the moment. That puzzle came with siren calls and scorching sun. He would rather not think about it, and just let it happen. If he though about it too hard, his systems would block up, screaming at him. He'd remember how wrong it was, and run away. He couldn't let that happen yet again.

He felt guilty for leaving Light to solve the puzzle on his own, bu he just couldn't do it. Light would just have to keep wondering about the bigger picture. The least he could do was answer Light's simple question.

"If you must know, I am bored." He huffed. Light's eyes widened. "I'm sorry." He was almost silent, yet again. He'd been like this in all of their interactions lately. It was if L had struck a chord in his soul, and that the metal band had snapped upon the touch. Something had been augmented. 

"It's not your fault, Light-kun. You're the only interesting thing around here anymore." L admitted. "Oh?" Light's voice squeaked, something it never, ever did. "Aren't you feeling bored, too?" L quizzed. "No, my father keeps me very busy outside of work. there's always something he needs me to attend." That was part true. He was always busy. He wasn't bored exactly, but he felt like he was trying to cut something with a dull knife. "Now, Light. I have known you as long as you have known me. I can tell you aren't happy." You could almost feel the smirk in L's voice.

"I'm just stressed." Light grumbled. He had noticed he was still awkwardly holding onto L's wrist, so he dropped it. L took note of this, and grabbed Light's wrist. "It's okay to be stressed, Light." That was the dumbest thing that ever came out of L's mouth. L never showed any signs of stress, so he was one to talk.

"I'm sure we'll get a case soon." Light blurted. 

L nodded, but he didn't fully believe it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Save me


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're still gay what did you expect

Lawliet woke up from his brief slumber gasping for air. He reached out to the empty space beside him as if he expected to find a stuffed animal. Anything comforting would do.

His dark eyes were dancing with fear. His dreams loved to torture him. There were images of blood and pure snow.

He'd been walking down an icy road, cold air meeting his cheeks and turning them red. He was underdressed and freezing, but he kept walking. He was sure there was somewhere he had to be.

He hugged his arms together, hoping to retain any kind of warmth.

He felt a warm puff hit his shoulder blades, a painful contrast to the bitter cold. "You should really wear more appropriate attire, Ryuzaki." A voice whispered. He spun around, scared someone might attack.

L was greeted by a smiling Light, holding a coat out by its neckline. He looked so warm and inviting. "That's alright, Light-kun. I'm sure we're almost home." L droned.

We're.

"No, please take the jacket. You'll fall ill." Light knitted his eyebrows together. L sighed. He lifted his arms in quiet defeat, allowing Light to slide the coat over his frame. Light even snapped the buttons together, giving L a comforting grin.

"Nice and toasty." Light chuckled. He reached out for L's hand, lacing his own fingers with the cold ones.

This was a familiar scenario. Why was that? Light had never been the most affectionate of people.

Oh. Now he remembered.

A bang sound, Light dropping to his knees. He dragged L down on top of him, hands still intertwined. L felt something wetter than snow leak onto his borrowed jacket. Light coughed, blood splattering onto the white snow. "No, this isn't real!" L hissed. Light just clawed up at his shirt. "Help." He wheezed. L started to sob.

"Help." L mumbled to himself. Oh, what he'd give to have something comforting just about now. Watari was in the other room, but he was asleep, and there was no real reason to wake him. He was alone, as usual. Left to deal with his problems head-on.

If Light were there, he would speak softly to him. Tell him words of reassurance. Maybe, he'd pull him close and rest there for a night.

That was yet another reason he had to confront his puzzle.

.

.

.

Light sighed, tapping his foot on the carpet. L had called upon Light, and he still wasn't sure why. He just casually texted "Please come into headquarters, your presence is desired." and left it at that. Were they finally on a new case?

Light was growing impatient. Where was L, anyway? It was extremely rude to call him in like this, and then keep him waiting. Light shut his eyes, slumping into the office chair. His mind started to drift to distant corners. His wrist stung with the phantom warmth of L's hold. 

His eyes flicked open and he dismissed it.

Light heard a door creak open, no doubt it was the one to L's office. "Come in." L said, voice echoing off the walls.

Seriously? After making Light wait all the time, he wasn't even going to come for him?

Light stomped down the hallway and straight into L's office. The metal door was already a jar, which caused an eerie gust of wind to come through the space.

Light pushed the door all they way open, taking a breath.

"Good evening, Light-kun!" Ryuzaki beemed.

He was smiling?

Why? Had they gotten a case, at last?

"Why am I here?" Light blurted. "And why couldn't you be bothered to step out of your office?" Light sneered. L was legitimately smirking now, and Light was growing concerned. "Ryuzaki?" Light knitted his eyebrows together. The detective was acting so strange. He no longer looked like a plaster statue among a path of ruin and disorder. He looked just like the rubble that lay beneath him, regular and tainted. "Is Ryuzaki feeling alright?" L raised his eyebrows after his own statement. Light felt scared, what was he playing at?

"L is feeling quite alright, Light-kun." L took a step closer. Light wasn't sure he liked where this was going.

"I was just pondering something, Light." L whispered. The tone was foreign and Light wasn't sure where it had come from. L was now just inches from Light. Light had to stop himself from pulling him down by the collar of his shirt. L closed the distance between them, but not with the touch of his lips. L leaned into Light's shoulder. Light could feel the breath hitting his ear, which caused a disturbing sort of shiver to run his spine.

L wasn't even quite sure where he was going with this, he just wanted to claim Light as his own. He wasn't going to use his body to obtain him, he wasn't that sort of person. So, he was doing it the best way he knew how. Using one of his famously long and droning speeches.

"What am I to you, Light?" L whispered. Light prayed to the god he didn't believe in, just hoping that nobody would see him in such close proximity to L.

Light's breath hitched. Why did L have to be so close?

Light fumbled with his thoughts for a moment. Was this L, finally ready to discuss their relationship? Was it just him trying to torture Light?

"Well." Light started. He had no idea what he was saying, so he just took the sparkler out of it's place and ran off with it, much like a thief. "You are the most intelligent, interesting person I have ever met." Light grabbed L's arm, removing it from his shoulder. "You once saved my life, in more ways than one." Light allowed himself to hold L's hand. It was as warm as the first time.

"You picked me up out of my boring life, plucked me out of routine." He could almost feel L's heart pounding. "I haven't regretted meeting you for one second in my entire life. I fact, I don't recall a day where I didn't thank the universe for it." L squeezed his hand. "What am I to you, L?" Light uttered teasingly.

"You are the greatest man I have ever known, Light-kun. I think you know that." L smirked. "You are also someone who I love as everything. My family, my peer, my lover." Light's eyes widened, as if it were a forbidden statement. "And I would like you to be mine." L was leaving marks all over Light's brain.

"I would like to be yours." Light closed his eyes, letting himself absorb it all. His mind was at peace, yet it was also on fire. Every time L's breath grazed his skin, his brain burnt itself into ashes. Every time L spoke, the fire was put out. It felt like frozen flames, no matter how impossible that was.

L wrapped his arms around Light's neck, staring into his eyes. "And that you shall be." L spoke. Light's brain felt as if something were electrocuting it, in the best sort of way.

Light brushed his thumbs along the lines of L's cheekbones. Light could only think of one thing he wanted to ask.

"What's your name?" Light asked cautiously.

Lawliet.

Lawliet.

Lawliet.

L's brain screamed. "Just tell him!" His siren sang. "Don't let him in." Angry piranhas barked.

"My name is Lawliet." L was almost inaudible.

Light pulled Lawliet in for a soft kiss. Their lips met as if they'd done it a million times before, pressing perfectly together. Light felt melting electricity crash through his veins like a tidal wave. L could feel himself being drowned by an angry sea of murderous creatures already, but he couldn't be bother to respond.

"I love you, Lawliet." Light spoke softly, out of breath. "I love you much more than you could possibly love me." L's voice shook.

He was wrong.

.

.

"And then they fucked." -SiblingSatan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's still gay??

Soichiro's footsteps thundered through the hall. When put face to face with his son, napping on L's couch, curled up in the man's arms, his only real question was how he hadn't woken them up. You'd assume he would be acutely panicking, but instead he just picked up the discarded blanket and draped it over them.

He took a moment to admire how happy his son looked, a content face that mirrored his younger one. His hand was sweetly wrapped around L's.

Soichiro was only shocked by how affectionate he looked. Neither of them had ever been very sweet people, yet there they were, calmly drifting in one another's embrace.

Soichiro turned on his heel, intending to wait in the hallway.

.

.

.

The horrible scrape of steel hitting steel could be heard. "Now, now." The voice was terribly patronizing. "Please stop your whining, Mister." The man in front of him put his hands to his legs, leaning as if he were talking to a mere child. His white coat was stained with dirt and grime, but it wasn't as filthy as his victim's clothes. They contrasted against the eerily clean rope. Was he the first one to be tied up here?

"I'm just trying to make you suitable! What's so nasty about that?" The lab-coated man smiled the kind of smile that was comforting for only a moment. After that, it melted away to show a growing storm of wrong.

"You'll be uglier than all those clothes you wasted your money on!" He laughed, motioning to the discarded pile of clothing in the corner. "I think those with suit Misses rather well." He sounded so distressingly calm.

The prisoner turned his head to find the Misses his captor was talking about.

So he wasn't the first person to be tied up here.

The man picked up a large blade from the tray. "This'll only hurt for a second." He purred, before plunging it into his captive's chest.

And that was just the easy part.

.

.

.

"Good morning, Light." Light's vision was blurry, but he managed to make out L sitting at the foot of the couch. Light felt too warm, as if something was there that wasn't there before. "Hey." Light grumbled. "Did you put this blanket on me?" Light propped himself up on his arms.

"No." L smiled. "Your father did." Light's face turned to panic.

"What? He seemed quite appreciative of me keeping you warm at night." L chuckled. Light held his face in his hands. "Oh god." He mumbled. "My father knows." Light buried his head deeper into his hold.

"Knows what, Light?" L was smirking. "Oh, you know what!" Light hissed, throwing a couch cushion at L. "Do I?" He mused. Light frowned. "You aren't taking this seriously." His voice broke midway through. "He's going to kill me, L." He huffed. "I'm not his perfect little boy anymore." Light looked like he was holding back tears. "I have a feeling he already knows that, Light." L closed his eyes, calmer than he should be. "I know, that's the problem." Light glared at L. "You know, I don't think a homophobic man would have laid a blanket upon two sleeping men." L stated. L looked at Light, who was now huddled up pitifully on the couch. He took it upon himself to come sit next to him, crouching next to the couch.

"Don't cry, Light." L put his hand on Light's back, hoping to reassure him. "I promise you'll be okay." He spoke soothingly. Light just continued to hide his face. Light wasn't one who liked to show his struggles, rather suppress them until it hurt. L had always been that way, too.

"Stop asking me, I don't know." The woman put her head in her hands. "Why do you ask so many questions?" She sighed. "Always so curious." Her voice turned to something more sinister. "Why on Earth were you made this way?" She growled, smacking the little boy over the head with a rolled up newspaper. It met his skull with a thwack. "Now please, be quiet. Stop your whining."

"You'll be okay, it'll all be okay." He murmured."Thank you, Lawliet." Light lifted his head up, revealing red and puffy eyes.

They both acted so strong, yet wth the tap of a finger, they could snap and bend and be demolished. It was quite the painful trait to have, one that ached and split through their bodies. It tore its way out with domino hands. Being a trophy hurt. The screaming when you broke hurt almost as much.

Lawliet and Light heard an ear splitting ring. "Oh good, isn't that-"

Watari walked in, carrying the phone. L snatched it out of his hands, looking disturbingly thrilled.

If that phone was ringing, something horribly grand-scale had happened. While Light knew L was compassionate for each case, he looked almost scary when he got them.

"Six?" L's voice left chills down Light's spine. That number often signified bodies.

"That's...interesting." L looked taken aback, but it was just slightly, just like everything else he did. "We'll take it." Light's eyes widened, but it wasn't slight. Nothing about him was slight. L set the phone down. "Well, Watari, call the others."

"We have ourselves a case."

.

.

.

"How adorable." A voice cooed, smile as wicked as it never was. "It seems the police have noticed me!"

Blood slid down his medical sewing needle, the kind used for stitches.

"You're good at listening, Mister." He whispered. "Oh wait, that's right, you're dead!" He laughed. It couldn't quite be described as psychotic, it was still warm and gentlemanly.

He put in the final stitch, locking a slab of skin in place. "Well, that was a lot of work. Thank you for your participation." He growled sarcastically. "You're such a pleasant guest, Mister. Did they teach you your table manners real well in prep school?" He snickered.

He was certainly enjoying this too much to be complaining often.

"I'm sure Misses will look quite lovely in your clothes." He laughs, and it sounds far too kind hearted to be coming from a murderer's basement.

It's hard to believe that there was only one hour between murderer and dinner party host.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear Madeline if the murderer's gay too


End file.
